In his book “A Church Building Every 1/2 Mile“. Jon Zens says this in reference to pastors and fellowship:
“Since pastors can’t usually find meaningful relationships among those closest to them, where do they turn? The ordained must leave their parish and attend gatherings of other ordained people. This accounts for the existence and proliferation of Ministerial Associations, Clergy Conferences, Clergy husband/wife retreats, and ministries to troubled church leaders. The clergy/laity divide creates a situation in which those on top can only find camaraderie with others in the same profession” (pg 36)
The fiber, backbone, driver, and engine of leadership is relationships. Take these words from Paul to the Thessalonicans:
7 But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. 8 So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.
He then goes on a few verses later and says “like a father with his children”. Let me say if we get this wrong we get everything about the leadership Jesus talks about wrong. Jesus slept, ate, prayed, traveled with His disciples, even to the point of washing their feet. But if the quote above by Jon Zens is correct we see something that is the polar opposite and it dominates our churches.
Let me tell you why this happens. Religious Education, Church Offices, Pulpits, Hierarchical Structures, and the professionalization of the “pastorate” contributes greatly to this if it is not 99% of the reason this exists. As long as I am a Shepherd over Sheep versus a Shepherdly Sheep this problem will never cease. As long as I am identified by titles (reverend, pastor, minister, elder, deacon or the wacky ones such as bishop, apostle, superintendent, prophet or the like) instead of relationships I will never be deemed “the mature among equals” but I will consistently perpetuate a chasm that never narrows.
As Paul meets with the Elders in Ephesus (Acts 20) and he tells them that he would never see them again, you get one clear picture. They loved this man. They hug and kiss him and then they weep. We will fire a pastor if he isn’t performing (bringing in revenue in the name of people). Paul uses two of the most intimate familial relationships to express his love to the whole church in Thessolonica. We can’t miss this. If your leadership is defined by a title, position or function instead of your relationship to people you are no different than the way the Gentiles functioned.
Listen, Jesus goes as far as to say “who are my mother, brothers or sisters”. Read this quote from Jon Zens for me:
Secondly, in the “clergy system” Bible School/Seminary graduates are imported into churches. They enter the “pastoral search” routine by coming to a church, preaching their best sermon, going through an interview, receiving a “call” from the assembly, and then accepting this “call”. Such a method functionally bypasses the knowledge of a person gained through relationships in the body. It is important to realize that in the New Testament, leaders emerged from within a believing community. (pg 51)
This is well to common in our churches and passes by with little to no scrutiny. How would Timothy and Titus know who were the mature believers to select as elders? The people would have known and would have been following these people. Remember elders came post church plant not pre church plant. I think we read our 21st century mentality into much of this. Timothy and Titus was SENT to ordain Elders in churches that had people functioning as elders. Notice they didn’t go to “make” elders Timothy and Titus didn’t bring guys they knew to function as the leaders of those congregations they elected them from among the people. People who were already functioning at the level Paul had described in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1. And these things would have been impossible without relationship.
The people in Ephesus and Crete would have had intimate details about their lives. They would have played with their kids, ate each others food, worked beside them, and served with them. They would have saw the good, bad and the ugly and would have been able to trust them as they both grew and functioned in their giftedness. They would have known that these men loved them and cared for them, because they would have already been doing it. Listen, we can functions as leaders in a “church” I can begin working on my seminary degree and immediately walk into a church and be appointed some type of intern “position”. I may do well, but we will never see the type of maturity, equipping, inter-dependency, sacrificial love, support, and mutual edification that Paul describes in the New Testament. The people will always function as laity and the pastors as clergy and we will fall short of the New Testament pattern that the Reformers fell short in. That is their ecclecisology. If we are to lead like, Christ, Paul, Peter and John, if we as older men and women will be able to use terms such as “as a father or mother” or “my beloved children” or “my dear children” then it will take relationships. Us opening our homes and our lives. Allowing those we lead to see us function as human beings not as “clerical robots” saying the right things at the right time. If our relationships are outside of the body that we are “called” to lead then all we become is CEO’s, Presidents, Offices and never brothers and sisters and that misses what the New Testament and our Master calls us to.
Confession of a Seminary grad:
In my three years of graduate work, there was never a class on leaders being servants.
In my three years of graduate work, I had to take a class on how to prepare a sermon for a funeral, evangelism and good ol expository preaching.
In my three years of graduate work, there was never a discussion on being the least, caring for the flock as Paul demonstrated or more importantly learning servant leadership from Jesus. Can we find more
In my three years of graduate work, I had to take classes on hermenutics, parsing Greek and Hebrew etc, etc.
Now I do not regret any of these because they have proved helpful (It is because of those tools my theology continues to mature).
There is a whole lot of academics but very little application to relationships.
Yet Lionel look what we deal with in taking the Gospel to people: They don’t want to hear what the aorist tense is or whether a verse of Scripture is in the indictative or imperative. What I have seen is that it is necessary to demonstrate being a servant not ruling over people but loving them as Christ loves me and as I love my own family.
I have been asked multiple times: Are you a reverend, pastor, etc.? How about the crazy looks I get when I respond; no my name is Phillip.
The clergy/laity distinction is so ingrained in our culture that it will only take God moving among His people to break down this infernal wall. This wall is what is hindering our relationships. This wall extends into so many areas of our Christian life that it appears the curtain that was rent from top to bottom has been sewn up again.
As we serve, God does some great and mighty things. Some are small and some are huge. So Servant leading means:
You will not get the “appreciation service”
You wll not get an “anniversary service.”
You will cry with people
You will rejoice with people
You will sit in a home and hear a wife plead with her husband to read the Scripture to her.
If you want real seminary that is beyond the academics, it is in peoples lives and homes. That seminary requires no application. That meeting requires no clergy/laity distinction. In that seminary you are always taking the Gospel and using it to address people lives.
Phillip
Many thanks for posting what you did, Brother Phillip-
Though I think it odd that if one does his or her own research, they can easily find some solid resources on various ways in which one can learn how to practically serve others in love. Yet it often, as you noted, isn’t found in many seminaries…………..and as a Youth DEACON/WORKER, It’s sad when it seems as if all the seminary training in the world doesn’t prepare kats for the simple things that can make a difference, such as learning how to probe/ask questions or listen intently to what others are going through………or how to encourage in creative ways/learn the passions of one’s heart that God may’ve given them and helping them develop those things for the Glory of God. Or how to actually HANG out with folks and not try to maintain an edge—-as when working with young kats, you’ll notice they pick up on that whenever one’s doing that pretty quick………..and it hinders growth.
They definately don’t have a class examining what Jesus meant in John 13 with WASHING PEOPLE’S FEET AND WHAT THE MEANING OF THAT PATICUALR TEXT WAS……………..though in all honesty, many churches do not teach this nor do the saints live it out consistently (and I’m speaking for myself as well).
Just to clear it up. I am not against seminaries I think they add great value. So it is not a seminary issue as it is an issue to relate to those you serve. Many great brothers are in and have been to seminary and would affirm and are currently practicing what I am talking about. I would say that seminary does push you towards the clergy/layity distiction and turns the funtion of shepherding into a profession as people are sent to “interview” for “pastoral jobs”.
I have started reading the book “The Exemplary Husband” which talked about the husbands sacrifical love of giving up his life for his wife and family. I feel bad sometimes for pastors who seem not to be able to do this because the church holds them up to a high degree. Yesterday in our work bible study, a lady shared “that it is the pastor’s job to set up programs for new believers, so their blood doesn’t fall on him”. I was not surprised but shared with her how the scripture teaches that we all must work together towards edification (Romans 15:2).
“Imported”…wow! What makes it worse is when some congregations don’t like what was given to them, they export that pastor! Praise God for their are churches returning or attempting to follow the biblical pattern. That’s good.
One question I think of many times is who builds the church? Christ or the elders,bishops, or pastors? The answer is Christ Jesus. Then why are we trying to build churches ourselves and not follow after the way of Christ. This was an interesting post Lionel. Thanks
Karsten Miller
KM,
Not only that but even Colossians 3. It is the Churches job to discern the needs of the body. The “pastor”(s) is (are) not the church all who gather are the church thus, we are responsible to see each other through and we are responsible for the discipling process, we are all responsible to meet each others needs, carry one another’s burden, and to lay down our lives for one another. The false idolization of the “pastoral office” accomponied with, the passivity that comes along with it encourages such a false premise.
Isn’t it funny that we can “fire” the pastor. That is so unbiblical that it is unbeliveable. How can we fire a believer from the “church”? But again when the pasotral becomes a professional position and that position is measured in quantatity then we are bound to have these issues.
However when those who are shepherds function as part of the family then we have a different story. How many brothers and sisters do you see firing and hiring each other. When was the last time some imported a Mom and exported the other? When was the last time a sister was laid off because she didn’t “produce”. This sounds looney but this is happening as we speak! When a family splits we call it divorce and it sin (given some theological positions). But this happens so many times. Where is the family tone that defines the body of Christ you see where I am going brother this is ridiculous and erroneous.
Lionel,
I wanted to tell you how good it is for an old Christian, such as I, to read what you are saying.
You are so right!
It thrills me to see thinking, praying young Christian men and women who aren’t listening to the morbid death rattle of what we have historically called “church”.
A relationship with the institution has been made more important than the relationship with Himself and others of His brethren, which Jesus fully paid for on Calvary.
Though I see/agree with what this post is about, part of me couldn’t help but think of the flip side of the equation when it comes to the concept of “family”. If anyone remembers what took place with things such as the Shepherding Movement, there were indeed many who possibly began with the idea that there was too much of a disconnect between those who were leaders and those entrusted to them by the Lord. And so naturally, they got more involved in the lives of many within the congregation and tried to meet their individual needs…….and sadly, many things quickly got out of hand.
For more info
http://www.eskimo.com/~scoleman/index.html
This is something a dear friend of mine actually experienced once……as during my first year of college, I went with her to investigate this church. It seemed to be pretty interesting and I heard the Word of God preached accurately. Being from Trinidad, the organization was one in which she grew up in. However, in doing more research on the issue as she told me of how many seemed to have a problem with her church, I was surprised seeing how in many ways the church family was VERY controlling. If you needed a ride to church, the members would gladly give you one and check up on you to see how you were doing…..but slowly things built up to becoming what many may think as “too noisy” or “controlling”—-almost cult-like in the level of involvement that the church demanded to have in the lives of believers in the name of “FAMILY”/”SERVING” and being connected with “PERSONAL PASTORS”/ “STAYING CONNECTED WITH THE CONGREGATION”——even down to saying that if a husband/wife in the church were struggling with intimacy issues and they were not making love as I Corinthians 7 conveys, it was telling them how often they should go about it and applying church discipline on them for not being obediant to the Scriptures as they saw it.
On the flip side though, there’re times when in many churches that seem to be Orthodox people will bust out with the label that the congregation or the fellowship is being “noisy” and not honoring privacy——sometimes to the point of when another believer saw one doing something that’d place them in danger another would use Scriptures regarding the Holy Spirit and how He’s their counselor and they didn’t need people trying to force them to do anything……or that even with church discipline, outside of that they may seem to be too involved.
Even many of the discussions we may’ve had on this site on the role of pastors/”obeying leaders” would’ve been used by many (As I’ve seen it myself) to justify one not being accountable to any kind of fellowship outside of their family/1 or 2 close friends—–to the point where it seemed that the scriptures regarding the role of elders and how they’re to look after others are only acknowledged yet never obeyed.
My question is how is it that we as believers can maintain fellowships that’re not too controlling but at the same time involved IN THE lives of those entrusted to you.
Notice in Timothy and Titus how Paul emphasised that the qualification of elders was closely related to the role of husband and wives.. He let us know that those not able to fulfil those family obligations or roles adequately were not able to rule or govern the church adequately. Though we struggle from time to time with various issues, one who is equipped to handle relational conflict seems to be more able to be considered undershepards/pastors/elders.
What do you think as this relates to relational leadership? Would you say that Paul’s thoughts are still relevant?
Trust the Spirit G-Dub, that is how. Those who are of the Spirit are led by the Spirit. We won’t need to pry when we have authentic relationships. I think a great example is that of my close friends. Because of our relationship we don’t pry we are so busy sharing that we may give too much information. The same is for the family of God. You can tell off the cuff if someone is trying to love you or control you. I won’t ask you much of anything you won’t share. As we begin to love and serve one another and the Spirit is working in our lives we will share with one another and begin to accept one anothers reproof and encouragement. Once again that seemed like regulation not relationship and that will fail.
Amen Phillip, Amen!
In a family devotion, the wife and I explored I Cor 13 to find out how the text had been taken out of context about Christian maturity. I have begun to meditate deeply on the fact that Paul meant for the mark of maturity to be love and not position or status. In the hunt for an elder who is capable, we should investigate the love aspect more readily and not the outward controlable expressions only, but also the inward ideas that may express themselves outwardly at times, i.e. anger, malice, resentment, irratibility and the likes. It is funny how when I was young I despised getting older because I thought age to be rigged. As I grew older and started letting go of false ideas of growing older, I saw the wisdom in the aging process. Now I am not that old yet, but have now been a third of the way. In my pursuit of the longing to bring truth to the body local, I am sure that the only thing that will matter in this passing of knowledge from one to the other is my love walk.
Didn’t Paul also say that faith works by love?
Hey Larry,
Actually that realtional leadership deal will be one of my points. I will tackle this with the Letter A which is “appeal”.
To your second point Larry, so does John, Jame and Jesus. Love is the proof of our faith in orthodoxy.
Relationship is everything in the Body. It was real funny when our “pastor anniversary” was transitioned into a annual “congregational” celebration. At first, there was resistance to a group celebration rather than one centered on one man. However, three years later, we love sharing the time as a group.
Secondly, I “hang out” with men in the church rather than just hanging with other preachers. When I travel to preach, when I shoot ball, and go on vacation, I’d rather be with church members instead of with other “clergy.”
Even when I hang with other preachers, it is as “brothers” rathers than Reverends.
Good discussion.