Here is the command:
Ephesians 4:32
32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
This could probably a 3 page paper. However I am going to try to express what the Holy Spirit showed me today while I was wrestling through a disagreement with my lovely wife.
What exactly does Paul mean when he says “as God in Christ forgave you”? This is a radical statement for any human to make and I think it can’t be accomplished apart from the Holy Spirit dwelling richly in your heart. Let me explain briefly by showing you three things.
1. God took the initiative in your forgiveness (Ephesians 2:1-10)
2. God forgives totally by placing ALL of your sins on Christ Jesus and declaring your righteous (2 Corinthians 5:21)
3. God never hangs any of your past sins over your head as a way to control your future behavior.
Now until we understand this, we will never be able to rightfully follow this imperative. But Paul doesn’t give us an out because he spends the first 3 or so Chapters explaining: how you were saved, who saved you, and what your salvation entails. Now if this is the case why in the world do we refuse to obey God when we are instructed to put on the new man and be imitators of Christ? I believe there are three reasons.
1. We haven’t been taught properly about the cost God paid to reconcile us to Himself. Thus we don’t have a proper understanding of our depravity and what the forgiveness that leads to salvation really is.
2. We don’t trust that God will vindicate us. This is radically opposed to what Paul writes in Romans 12:19 . So we take it upon ourselves to vindicate ourselves all the while not entrusting ourselves to the one judges justly 1 Peter 2
3. We want to control the future behavior of an individual by holding their sins against them. So we keep their offences in a chest full of past sins against us and will use it when the time is right. This is called manipulation and it is sin.
Whats the practical outworking of this? Very simple! If we are to imitate God we must forgive as God forgives. If we want our orthodoxy to align with our orthopraxy we must forgive biblically and entrust our lives and others who trespass against us to God for He is the righteous judge. I believe this forgiveness will cut our divorce rates down 99.99% and would mend our broken relationships like nothing before. Why? Because this forgiveness is supernatural and derives from being baptized into the body of Christ by the Spirit of God. If we are to put off and put on, it will start with humble submission to the basic commands of scripture. I leave you again with Jesus’ words to Peter:
Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven.
23 “Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. 24 When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25 And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. 26 So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ 27 And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. 28 But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ 29 So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ 30 He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. 31 When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. 32 Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. 33 And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ 34 And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. 35 So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”
Lionel,
Just a quick comment on this one. I believe the problem is even in our Christian culture it has become easier to judge rather than forgive. Whether we admit it or not a lot of times pronouncing judgment on someone else pleases our flesh and makes us feel better about our own shortcomings. And while judgement of another person’s fruit is not unbiblical true we need to be reminded that we are to forgive just as much if not more so than judging.
If I think that by making changes to someone else I will become happy, I am very wrong.
AA teaches me that when I am upset about someone else, it is a spiritual axiom that something is wrong inside of me. That if I am to be happy, I must examine me and make the changes to me.
When I judge someone else, I am not really judging them but judging myself.
When I hold a resentment toward someone, it is like taking poison and expecting someone else to die.
Life is as good as I allow it to be.
Lionel – Absolutely great post. As a matter of fact we seem to have been thinking along the same lines. I was actually planning on blogging about this myself very soon. I will just put a link here instead. You said it very well.
It’s funny you bring this up. The pastor of our church is doing so one on one counseling with us on marriage. He is taken us through the study of Ephesians and helping us understand our relationship with Christ before we go into forgiveness. I think that forgiveness should be something we Christians focus on, no matter what the offense is. For example, if a man molested my sons (yes I would be very angry I’m sure and want to do sinful things in my flesh), I should be focusing on forgiving the person. I understand this may take time for, but the direction I should be headed is forgiveness. I love how Matthew 18:23-35 stresses the importance of forgiving. So my question is, is it possible for a Christian to have no remorse in forgiving someone?
Bro Karsten Miller
PS-Lionel, my family is doing well. I am a little tired since it was my turn to take care of the baby last night.
Karsten,
If I read the parable in Matthew 18 correctly and the Lord’s Prayer as it is coined then my answer is no. But I am sure someone would consider that works based LOL!!!!
I think if we embrace Ephesians 2:1-10 without any presuppostions our forgiveness for others would flow more frequently.
Lionel
Ouch!!! I’m going to need a band-aid after this one. Forgiving is something that is difficult for me sometimes. I am so ashamed to admit it. My mother in law is coming to visit next week. There are a lot of hard feelings on my end for her. She has been pretty hateful over the years. Pray for me that I will respond in a Christlike manner.
Blessings
I will brother Joe. I pray that Romans 12-13 would be the foundation that you stand on brother. I have had a blessed relationship with my in-laws so I don’t know what that feels like. Though some of my in-laws are not believers they are very fun at times and I am extremely playful so that only helps.
Hey Dave,
I agree wholeheartedly but it is much easier if they comply to our pressure right?
Carey,
This is very true. I was reading Hebrews 12 and the Spirit told me to “stay in your lane”. When we run the race, we can’t get entagled up in the other races, but it is much easier to judge others in an attempt to puff ourselves.
Thanks brother Mark. I am always examing my heart when I read your blog brother