I write this post reluctantly but with a clear conscience. I also write this post to draw a line in the sand and to clearly define the purpose of why I originally started blogging and what the Lord has done to my heart since the very first post back on the Black and Reformed that I shut down a few months ago. So I want to be honest. I originally started blogging due to my frustration with the Health and Wealth movement. I was utterly abused by Legalism, Word of Faith teaching, and a slew of false doctrine. I used to spend all of my time as a lion looking to pounce on the first lonely sheep that disagreed with me. I would love to get into debates at barbershops, with family, and love to tell my wife how much I disagreed with Jakes, Olsteen, Meyers, Price, Dollar and their affiliates. I enjoyed destroying their doctrinal positions and anyone who would side with them. Okay I really, really enjoyed it. I would take my arguments to church and debate with anyone who would defend even an ounce of this doctrine. I would even argue with myself if I had to. I just wanted to expose false teaching regardless of the bridges I knocked down, the relationships I sabotaged, and the feelings I hurt along the way. I left a trail of destruction wherever I would go. The crazy part is, I justified all of this by saying “I am standing for truth”.
I would hear all of the time, from those closest to me, that I was being to harsh, maybe I should be more gentle, but I put them in the same bucket I did the expected wolves. I called them “wolf sympathizers” and quickly turned on them. I just wanted to kill everyone in the path, regardless of our relationship. If you were caught on the same side as the foe, you were considered a foe. This continued on until I practically burned every bridge in sight. I then turned to the Internet, where I found others just like me. I later found blogs that thought the way I thought and they were even more tenacious than I was at exposing these wolves. That is when I figured out how to start my own blog. My motive was to “stand for truth at all costs”. Encompassed in that all cost were those who were theologically untrained who would come and defend these “false teachers”.
So after being ignored by my wife, church family (some anyway), friends who belonged to these types of churches, and even old church members, I finally had a voice on the web. People started to come and I sent my blog out to everyone on my email list. I loved every minute of it. I finally found people who agreed with me. I would have a field day attempting to destroy every doctrinal position that, those I considered, false teachers had. If I caught someone affiliating with them, they were just as guilty. If Jakes spoke at your engagement, you were just as guilty as Jakes. If Rick Warren was at a conference that someone I respected was at, I considered them just as guilty. Then…….
Something weird happened. As I looked back over all of the dead bodies, and the body count report came back, I realized that there were friendlies in the count. Not just a couple, but just as many friendlies as there were enemies. I started to look at the bridges I burned, the relationships that I sacrificed in the name of truth, and the hearts I broke standing for “God’s truth” and my heart became heavy. I read Respectable Sins and things such as: patience, gentleness, and forgiveness were areas I was seriously lacking in. I thought of all of the people that were in the crowd when I sent the mortar on an enemy camp! The babies (young in the faith) the elderly (those who were helpless), and even friendlies (those who agreed with me, but were not ready to split but would rather be patient seeking prayer over division). So I tried to cover it up by starting a new blog, but the Lord would not let me rest. Repentance was and is necessary for such sins.
So I want to say to anyone offended again, that I am sorry if I included you in anything that did not bring God glory. Father, if I have written anything with “selfish motives”, or vain conceit, I repent and I pray that you would fix my mess. We have way too many friendlies in the crowd to send atomic bombs or mortars into enemy territory. My heart and goal now is to send special agents in (the Truth) to rescue our friends from enemy territory. Every innocent bystander is important and I refuse to shoot in the crowd again. That means that some blogs that I would visit quite frequently I will not visit again. I thought that I could go on there and infuse truth, but I would find myself falling back into sarcasm and condescending remarks. I enjoyed being a “Heresy Hunter” because it made me feel better about myself, by expressing my disdain for them (I guess). As long as I got one enemy I didn’t mind taking out 5 allies!
So going forward I pray that this blog will proclaim the Glory of Christ above anything else. I pray that as you read this blog, your heart is warmed and you want to proclaim the excellencies of Christ even more. Finally I hope to engage in critical (but ultimately loving) dialogue with those who disagree. Thanks for those who visit here and if you are what I was then I pray that God will give you the same conviction. Lets proclaim the truth of God in love.
God Bless,
Your Not So Humble Brother,
Lionel Woods
Maybe this comment will encourage you.
I want to be the first to say that this is the exact area that God used you to show me that I was utterly failing in myself.
Bro. Lionel the scripture was made clear to me as a child growing up that “Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall”. Well I didn’t listen. But I did find out the truth to this scripture and believe me I am still being chastened by the Lord for it.
I’m so ashamed of some of the things that I have said to brothers and even sisters that I won’t even get specific. Just know that this process of sanctification is lifelong but we have the assurance that “It is God that works in us, both to will and to do of His good pleasure. Be blessed! I love you man!
God honors the humble and contrite in heart. He is big enough to take care of the issues you mentioned. He understands all the false doctrine out there–He will take care of it. He will stop it. Yet,He also LOVES those who are in error. What an amazing God and Savior we serve! Anytime we are willing to ‘be real.’ the Lord can use us for His glory. The Lord will guide you in your desire to see that the Truth is being taught. Keep your eyes and ears open to Him. He loves you.
Thank you both for the kind words. I am with you Lawrence, as I stated I pray God will clean up my mess and allow those relationships that I squandered to be renewed. God bless.
Brother Lionel,
I’ve read a lot of great blog articles lately and this tops them all. You are teaching volumes as you share this aspect of your sanctification with us. May God bless you greatly for He blesses us through you.
-Jim
Thanks for your heart on this issue. You-of all the people I have known-have grown the fastest and you constantly learn from your mistakes. I think you should be like Christ in John 13 and wash my feet!!! If you going to be humble-you have to go the whole stretch youngin!!! LOL
Man oh man can I relate. First the Lord opened my eyes to the doctrines of grace and then the next thing I know I am some kind of “heresy hunter” as well. While it is necessary to be cognizant of the theology and doctrine many teach, the way we defend the truth becomes the problem. 1 Peter 3:15 “but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect,” See it’s that last part of gentleness & respect that I’ve been lacking. It went from exposing false doctrines to running roughshod over anyone and everyone who didn’t side with me. Since I go to a historically black seminary I was actually planning my preemptive attack. I was getting ready with texts and reading up on apologetical arguments. I began to learn logic to combat any logical fallacies that might be used by these duped pimpees.
I began to pray for a heart of flesh vs a heart of stone. I began to pray that God give me a love for people which I knew I lacked. I was praying for this not so that I would stop my campaign but that I could do so with a dash of love just so that I could fulfill Peter’s admonition. Talk about bringing legalism back into the fray!
My “breakthrough” came this past weekend. It’s as if scales fell from my heart and mind. While I have an intense passion for the truth, I’m also developing an intense passion for God’s people. Since I’m going to join the military as a chaplain my eyes & heart are beginning to open to the reality that truth is important but only with gentleness and respect. I lacked both.
I am so glad to see your apology because it is my own.
Well, I can see where you are coming from, Bro. I’ve recently had to just step back and look at my attitude towards people when I’m telling them the truth. Sanctification is a blessed and very gruelling process…
Hi Lionel:
I appreciate this post. I regret some bridges I have burned, unneccessarily, in the past, thinking at the time I was doing the right thing.
I have never met you, but respect the journey God is bringing you on. Your zeal for truth is good, and hopefully, tempered with love and patience, it will be even better.
Lionel,
I concur with Jim. This may be the best blog that I’ve ever read. I appreciate that I have had the opportunity to have a close look at this entire process. I’m proud to be your friend Champ.
~B. Manning
Jim – Thanks for you kind and gracious words brother
Ice T – you know how we do it bro, if “iron shaprens iron” then you are the brother that makes me iron!
Doug – You are young enough to not make the mistakes I have made. Don’t allow the false teachers to be your audiance but have an “audience of one” the Lord Jesus. You encourage me to get with the young men of our day. My heart is warmed by your heart for the Gospel
Mark T – Thank you Sir. I am praying that my zeal for God’s truth IS more and more tempered with the same patience my Lord Jesus extended me.
Bobby – You and KP encouraged this blog brother. Your patience with me, your gentle correction when I was way out in left field, and your availability to lend me an ear after all of my rants shows why you are qualified to lead God’s people bro. You are a friend and mentor indeed!
Hey, Brah….
May not mean much, but as another once wisely said, “You find out alot about a man’s character once you see what he either laughs or cries about.”
That said, humbled/blessed to see how you’ve shed tears (spiritually—& physically, I’m guessing….I’ve done it to when it comes to the issues in your post) over those who get caught in the crossfire & taken out due to “friendly fire”, never seeing the love/graciousness called of those as the “elect/chosen of God (Colossians 3) and that the Lord has shown us (John 13, Titus 3:1-8) when He could’ve rightfully/easily burned us alive in dealing with our sin (Luke 6, I John 4)……. & that even in grief, that it’s a holy grief born of God.
Ephesians 4:29-31
29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit/IMPART GRACE TO those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Much love, Brah. It’s a pleasure to know you as a brother/friend in Christ. May you see fruit….and be glad at the POWER OF GRACE. As the old saying goes, “Jesus didn’t come to make bad men good….but to make DEAD MEN ALIVE”…..& it’s always a privelage to see God’s Grace work inside of you/transform you from the inside out so that you’re a visible encouragement/testament of His Grace…..and a reminder of how desperately ALL OF US NEED IT IN OUR LIVES…..
1 Timothy 1:15-17
15Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 16But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life. 17Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.
Wow, Lionel, I understand your dilemmas and victories. I appreciate your boldness to at the very least step out and be a voice of holy and righteous change within the church. It’s no coincidence that like-minded brothers and sisters are coming to this site. I have been impressed by your candour and it causes me to check myself to make sure I am in the shadows of Christ. Your momma may have named you ‘Lionel’, but you are definitely a Timothy in my book. Continue to stir up the gift in you. Continue to press on- in, through and by Christ. Continue to be a needed voice and continue to strengthen your brethren.
I left this at your other blog, but I want to post this comment here too Bro.
You said:
“Father, if I have written anything with “selfish motives”, or vain conceit, I repent and I pray that you would fix my mess. We have way too many friendlies in the crowd to send atomic bombs or mortars into enemy territory. My heart and goal now is to send special agents in (the Truth) to rescue our friends from enemy territory.”
______
Now, THAT is what the response is when someone is convicted of sin by the Holy Spirit. We don’t say, “oh, I know I shouldn’t do this, I’m sorry, I just need to stop what I’m doing.” That is the response of someone who still wants to sin when God isn’t looking. No, we must hate the sin as much as He does to the best of our God given ability.
That is one of the greatest aspects of redemption isn’t it Brother? No only are we saved from sin’s eternally damned consequences, but we are given a taste for something that makes the sin that was once sweet on our tongues taste like carrion. It takes a miracle to turn a scavenging buzzard into a song bird.
I have been having my own convictions as of late. Here is something that happened to me just days ago.
http://www.alionhasroared.com/2008/02/ebenezer-moment.html
Oh, and this too. Sorry.
http://www.alionhasroared.com/2008/02/on-enablement-of-belief.html
Hi Lionel,
I just left your other site and left a comment there. I’ve been feeling much the same way man. Going “smash mouth” like I have in the past was the wrong way and watching you grow so fast helped me to see this. I too have left some “bodies” in my desire to get to the truth and I pray that God fixes my messes as well and that I continue to walk down the path that I’m on because hard core smash mouth is far to costly brother!
Love ya Man!
Phil